Q&A: Is a wolverine a wolf?

Each week here at the Australian Writers’ Centre, we dissect and discuss, contort and retort, ask and gasp at the English language and all its rules, regulations and ridiculousness. It’s a celebration of language, masquerading as a passive-aggressive whinge about words and weirdness. This week, a wolverine in sheep’s clothing..

Q: Hi AWC, I’ve been thinking about that movie, Deadpool vs Wolverine.

A: You probably don’t want to think too hard about that one. You might realise it has no plot.

Q: That’s a bit harsh.

A: You’re right. Maybe it was a good movie in another universe. 

Q: I do have a question though. WHAT exactly is a wolverine?

A: What do you THINK it is? Besides Hugh Jackman in a yellow suit.

Q: Some kind of small wolf?

A: Wrong! In fact, a wolverine isn’t a wolf AT ALL.

Q: Okay, that’s weird. 

A: The etymology is solid though – the original name from the early 1600s being a “wolvering” – likely from “wolver” which simply means “one who behaves like a wolf”. Which it kind of does.

Q: So if it’s not a wolf, what is it?

A: It is zoologically closer to the weasel or badger family, although it resembles more of a small bear. In fact, some parts of the world give it the nickname “skunk bear” due to the whiffy scent it gives off.

Q: Does it least have claws like the comic book character?

A: It certainly has claws (see the image above), although perhaps not as dramatically retractable or metallic as the famous ones. And like a wolf, it IS a rather ferocious carnivore, hunting alone (not in packs) and taking down plenty of other animals, some as large as bison or elk.

Q: Punching above its weight – no wonder it's such a popular character.

A: It sure is. In fact, lots of sports teams have the wolverine as their mascot. Even the entire state of Michigan in the USA is nicknamed “the Wolverine State” despite the animal not being found there.

Q: I’m sure Hugh visits occasionally.

A: Perhaps.

Q: So all this has me wondering if there are other misleading sounding animals out there. Know of any?

A: Absolutely! Remember that Elton John song Goodbye Yellow Brick Road?

Q: I sure do.

A: Well, in that song Elton sings: “Back to the howling old owl in the woods, Hunting the horny back toad”. 

Q: Surely you’re not suggesting the owl is not a bird?

A: No, but we are saying that a “horny back toad” is not a toad. Or any kind of frog.

Q: Really?

A: Yeah, it’s usually known as a “horned lizard” – but sometimes a “horned toad”, and is clearly of the lizard family.

Q: I’m shaken by that news. It’ll take me a couple of vodka and tonics to get back on my feet again.

A: Take your time.

Q: Are the dogs of society in that song even dogs?

A: Haha, well, probably not – it’s likely a metaphor. Anyway, here’s a nice acoustic version of the song to make you feel better.

Q: Do you have any other bombshells to drop on me?

A: The animal kingdom is full of them. Koala bears aren’t technically bears – more akin to fellow Aussie marsupials, the wombat. Meanwhile, killer whales (also known as orcas) are actually just very large dolphins that KILL whales. 

Q: Is it that black and white though?

A: Well, the naming of animals is always a bit of a grey area.

Q: No, I mean is the killer whale that black and white one?

A: Oh, right. Yep. That’s the one. Other notable false names are the red panda – which is closer to a raccoon or weasel than the black-and-white bamboo eating zoo favourite.

Q: Why call it a panda if it’s so different???

A: Well, the red panda was actually named first – in 1825, from a Nepali “ponya”’ which relates to the balls of its feet, with a longer name translating as “bamboo footed”. When the giant panda was named about forty years later, the two bamboo-chomping mammals were assigned the “red” and “giant” monikers but both kept the panda.

Q: Any more?

A: We’ll end with the electric eel.

Q: Let me guess. It actually runs on diesel?

A: Haha, funny. No, it’s NOT a species of eel at all. It’s a type of knifefish. And yes, it can stun its prey with up to 800 volts of electricity.

Q: Shocking!

A: Indeed.

Q: So to recap, a wolverine is more of a weasel; horny back toad is a lizard; a koala is a cute wombat; a killer whale is a dolphin; a red panda is a raccoon; and an electric eel is just a long fish.

A: Exactly. The animal kingdom is a marvel-ous place!

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