Children’s book author Lesley Gibbes on how to go from bland to brilliant

Lesley Gibbes is an internationally published, award winning author of 17 books for children. She writes picture books, poetry and chapter books. Lesley is also the presenter of our online, self-paced course Writing Chapter Books for 6 to 9 year olds here at the Australian Writers’ Centre. This year Lesley has two new rhythm and rhyme picture books out in bookstores, Demolition Dinosaurs illustrated by Marjorie Crosby-Fairall published by Scholastic and On the Hunt for Santa illustrated by Stephen Michael King published by Working Title Press, Harper Collins.

So, we asked Lesley, how she takes a rhythm and rhyme text from bland to brilliant?

That’s a great question because all my first draft rhythm and rhyme texts start out bland. The rhyming couplets often have the same rhythm which creates a monotonous sing-song sound that can lose the reader quickly. And even though it’s taken a lot of effort to create this first draft with the story told in rhyme, I know I’m only halfway done. It’s at this point that I search for ways to bring the text from bland to brilliant. What I’m looking for are places in the text to use literary devices that will give it a lift. 

Let’s have a look at my picture book, On the Hunt for Santa, a companion book for my CBCA Early Childhood Book of the Year Honour Book, Scary Night published on its 10th anniversary. Here I employ the rule of three. 

What’s that? Well, it’s the idea that things presented in groups of three such as characters or events are more effective, humorous or satisfying than other numbers. In On the Hunt for Santa I’ve employed three characters: Hare with a honey pot, Cat with a candy cane and Pig with a plum pudding. There are three items that the characters are taking with them on their journey and three places in the text of heightened excitement: the troll under Chasm Bridge, the snow wolves and knocking on Santa’s door. Using the rule of three can help lift a rhyming text out of the doldrums by satisfying the readers’ innate liking for groupings of three. 

Alliteration is another great device to employ in a rhyming text. You may have noticed the alliteration in On the Hunt for Santa. Alliteration is the repetition of a consonant sound. Have a listen. Hare with a honey pot, Cat with a candy cane, Pig with a plum pudding. The brain just loves the sound of alliteration and it’s a standout device in both Scary Night and On the Hunt for Santa. 

Another device used in both Scary Night and On the Hunt for Santa is a refrain. A refrain is a repeated line, phrase or single word. Here I’ve really gone to town because both these texts have multiple refrains that children can learn and repeat during a reading of the text. Refrains and repetition bring an element of fun to rhyming texts that can lift them from bland to brilliant. 

Here is an example. But where were they going that snowy day, out in the cold so far away? It was a mystery! These lines are repeated throughout On the Hunt for Santa and serve to heighten the tension.  

Not only are these lines an example of a refrain but they are also an example of direct question and answer. Here’s an example from On the Hunt for Santa when my three characters are crossing Chasm Bridge. Was it high? You bet it was! Did it sway? You bet it did! Did they give up? Of course they didn’t! The use of direct question and answer brings the reader right into the action of the story and takes the text to a new level.

Another way to avoid that monotonous sing-song sound that can drag a rhyming text down is to not make it rhyme. Well not all of it anyway. Here in On the Hunt for Santa only some of the text is in rhyme. Grab a copy and have a read. You’ll see how successful this technique can be.

Another great way to lift your rhyming text is to use onomatopoeia. Onomatopoeia is where the formation of a word comes from the sound it makes. Demolition Dinosaurs begins with a fun use of onomatopoeia. Beep! Beep! Beep! Get out of the way, the Demolition Dinosaurs are busy today. In fact, the book designer loved the use of onomatopoeia so much these words are highlighted throughout the text: bash, whoosh, crunch, smash, crash, whoomph, sizzle, zoom, boom! My use of onomatopoeia really highlights the action in the text and gives it a great lift.

You can also break up a monotonous rhythm with anticipation at the climax using a well-placed page turn. So here in Demolition Dinosaurs a stubborn wall won’t fall down. It’s the climax of the story and the dinos need to use dynamite. The explosives are lit with a SIZZLE and ZOOM, now the countdown begins, three, two, one… (page turn)

BOOM!  

Not only does the page turn break up the rhythm of the rhyming pattern, but it creates tension and anticipation that makes the BOOM! so much more satisfying. Editors are always on the lookout for opportunities like these where there is room for the illustrator to create a great moment for the reader in the book.

These are just a few devices, there are so many more. If you’d like to learn more, grab some copies of my picture books and have a read, then book yourself into the AWC course Writing Picture Books with Cathie Tasker, she’s amazing!